


A Song To Heal

by TheLadyFiction



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Grief, Hurt and comfort, Kayo/Virgil, Music, Other, Talk about Lucy, Virgil playing piano, hurtfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 18:02:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14939189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyFiction/pseuds/TheLadyFiction
Summary: On the anniversary of their mothers death, Virgil finds comfort in music.[Talk of death, grief and coping]





	A Song To Heal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



The sound of music drifted through the darkened island like a breeze, soft notes floating on the air in a beautiful melody that Kayo had never heard before.

 

Her heart skipped a beat; when she’d woken alone, she knew that Virgil would not be too far away. More recently, he had become a little aloof, as he always did, according to Scott, when the anniversary of their mother’s death grew closer.

 

This year would mark ten years since her death, and he was beginning to struggle with such a big anniversary, unbelieving that it had been an entire decade that he had lived without her.

 

It was plain to see, looking at all of the photos still hanging on the walls, well care for and constantly cleaned, that Virgil had been close to his mother; his love of art and music came from her, after all, and she had always encouraged him to follow them, to grow his skills.

 

He would often talk, when he was feeling up to it, about how she would be at every recital, every show, every moment he had to show off his talents, she was there, applauding, supporting him, even when others didn’t always agree.

 

After all, what was the son of a military man, a large, broad specimen perfect for war doing taking up such soft pursuits?

 

But she’d always seen past his intimidating shell, to the gentle man beneath, how he would rather laugh and smile and support those around him than do harm, and she protected him for as long as she could.

 

They all spoke of how, when she passed, Virgil was there, supporting them all, to the detriment of his health. How he propped up the entire family, running himself ragged, looking for any distraction to avoid dealing with his grief.

 

Even 10 years on, it seemed he was still struggling with his emotions, and it was a situation that Kayo knew well.

 

She may not have been as old when she lost her mother, but she knew the pain and the emptiness it could bring.

 

Losing a parent was never something you could ‘get over’. Time heals all wounds, they say, but they never talk about the scars those wounds leave behind. How voices caught on a breeze, how words and whispers, smells and music could evoke a useless spark of hope, to make you believe that they weren’t really gone, because how could they be gone?

 

Parents didn’t disappear, it wasn’t the done thing. Parents were invincible super heroes who fought away the darkness of the world. They were supposed to be permanent fixtures, at least until they were old and fulfilled and had grandchildren resting on their knees and their eyes grew tired from giving out so much love that their hearts finally slept in happiness.

 

Parents didn’t just disappear.

 

But Virgil had lost both now, alone in the world but for his brothers and friends, Grandma and now Kayo.

 

So often, when he held her close in the dead of night, eyes shining as he looked at her, she felt his desperation, his fear clutching at him; he couldn’t lose her the same way.

 

It was familiar, the way he behaved now. How he and Scott would argue about the dangers they faced, about how best to avoid injury. He cared too much, would rather Alan and Gordon be at home, safe than out with them, even if it meant that they struggled.

 

And though he was not unreasonable, Scott often found himself struggling to argue with Virgil’s more emotional side, blowouts often resulting until they could take a breather and make up, talking long into the night of their memories.

 

But Scott was sleeping now, and Kayo was taking soft breaths as she approached the lounge, the sweet melody from the piano still drifting through the air.

 

Virgil was talented with his hands, Kayo knew this, but to hear him play, to watch him as she often got to do was something to behold.

 

They way his digits flew across the keys, unthinking and unbridled, his eyes closed as he let the music take him to somewhere else, a paradise of calm, to serenity.

 

The tune was one she had not heard before, a sweet, soft melody with high and low notes mixing into an almost sorrowful sounding song. It sounded a lot like a lullaby, soothing and low on her mind as she slipped around the corner into the lounge.

 

Virgil didn’t notice her approach until she was past the conversation pit, feet padding lightly on the floor.

 

The only light in the room was provided by moonlight, streams of it slipping through the glass panels of the room, illuminating the room in a soft, ethereal glow.

 

The moment his eyes opened, darting to her, his fingers fumbled, hitting an off key as he stopped playing looking to her with wide eyes.

 

“Kay!” he breathed, bringing a hand to his chest, “You scared me!”

 

“That was beautiful,” Kayo smiled softly, “I heard you playing from the hallway, when I came looking for you.”

 

A soft blush rose to Virgil’s cheeks, lips curving into a smile.

 

“I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to worry you. I just couldn’t sleep.”

 

Kayo offered a smile in return as she moved to him, draping her arms around his shoulders. His hand moved up to clutch at her forearm, squeezing her in a small sign of reassurance as he sighed.

 

“You need to talk?” Kayo offered, relishing in the warmth of his skin against hers. She was clad only in her nightgown, a small black dress type thing that fell gracefully down mid thigh level, the straps on her shoulders small and functional, so was amazed that Virgil, shirtless and wearing only his flannel sleep pants was so warm.

 

But that was him to a tee, warm, inviting and comforting.

 

He shook his head, sighing again.

 

“I’ll be fine,” he smiled weakly, eyes shining in the light. “Really.”

 

Kayo nodded, pressing a kiss to his neck.

 

“That song really was beautiful,” she murmured against his skin, smiling softly when he shivered against her, enjoying the contact.

 

“Thank you,” he smiled, watching her as she pulled away and moved to the armchair by the piano, curling up into it. “It was… my mom… she used to play it as a lullaby to us before we went to bed and…”

 

His words trailed off as he closed his eyes, fighting back tears.

 

Kayo’s heart leapt to her throat, her heart hammering in her chest. Whenever Virgil spoke of his mother, she felt every emotion she’d experienced in dealing with her loss rise up too, wishing she could offer some help, but not wanted to make it seem like she was searching for comfort of her own.

 

“It’s a beautiful song,” she offered, noting how Virgil nodded gently, swallowing hard. “It’s tonight, isn’t it?”

 

Virgil’s gaze snapped to her suddenly, eyes wide and unsure.

 

“Yes,” he replied cautiously, leaning towards her a little. “Did… did Scott tell you?”

 

Kayo nodded, recalling the conversation she’d had with the eldest earlier in the day, the one in which he’d asked her to keep an eye on Virgil, knowing he would struggle.

 

“Is that why you’ve been a little off the past few days?”

 

She immediately regretted her choice of words when Virgil smiled bitterly, the expression foreign and wrong on his soft features.

 

“Have I?” he asked with a mirthless chuckle. “Well I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry if my grief is causing issues.”

 

His tone was sharp, perhaps sharper than he meant it to be as some of the hurt in his gaze slipped back to its usual softness.

 

“It’s not,” Kayo assured him, swallowing hard. She knew things like this could be difficult to talk about, and while she didn’t want to push him, bottling things up was clearly not working for him. She’d never heard him speak so sharply or defensively, and it put her a little on edge. “I just… I know how hard this can be and…”

 

“No offence, Kay, but no, you don’t,” Virgil snapped, turning on the piano stool to face the window, resting his head in his hands. “Look, I appreciate everything but, there’s no  _ possible _ way you could know what this is like, it’s not like…”

 

“Like my mom died when I was seven?” she finished for him, tears pricking at her eyes, “Or did you forget?”

 

The look of shock on Virgil’s face as he turned to face her was almost comical, his mouth agape, eyes wide.

 

“No, how could I possibly know what that’s like,” she spat back, her own grief rising up. “It’s not like I’ve grown up without a mom too, then losing my dad to my uncle… not like I’ve dealt with that grief as best as I can and want to help you do the same.”

 

She didn’t know where the words were coming from, but this certainly wasn’t what she had been aiming for.

 

“I should go,” she breathed, closing her eyes to fight the tears threatening to fall. Her heart felt heavy, Virgil’s reaction and assumptions making her stomach churn uncomfortably. She wanted to get away now, to calm herself down. She’d only wanted to help.

 

“Kay,” Virgil said, voice small and broken, “I… I had… Shit, I… I’m sorry.”

 

“So am I,” Kayo sniffed, tears beginning to fight their way through her lashes, staining her cheeks. “I should leave you. I know this is how you cope, I shouldn’t have…”

 

Virgil stood, moving to her. Kayo watched with apprehension in her eyes as her lover knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his, pressing a soft kiss to the tops of her palms.

 

“It’s okay,” he reassured her. “I… I was an ass. Just… never been good at dealing with this kind of stuff.”

 

Kayo nodded, blinking away more tears as Virgil sighed, sitting on the floor next to her chair. His back was to her, eyes cast out onto the ocean.

 

“When she… died, I was the only one who…” he drew a shaky breath, thinking about his words. “Dad was in pieces and Scott… you know what he’s like. He’s so… he hides how he feels better than anyone but... “ He gave a shaky sigh, mind replaying some of the worst times, ones that he would rather forget. “I had to look after them, to prop everyone up and… I…”

 

“Your grief kind of gets minimised, right?” Kayo asked, her hand slipping forward to thread through his soft, unstyled hair.

 

Virgil sighed as he nodded, leaning into her touch.

 

“Exactly. Like, they expect so much, but… When it came to me grieving…”

 

“They act like you’re not allowed. Like you’ve been doing what they were all this time.”

 

Virgil nodded, tears spilling over his eyes, finally letting his bottled emotions flow free.

 

“So you just push it down, you forget about it and try and move on, and then… one day I’ll be looking at a photo or a piece of music will come on and suddenly I’m in tears faster than I can breathe and it just, its…” His breathing became ragged, chest heaving as he curled into himself. “ _ Fuck _ !”

 

“It’s okay, it’s alright,” Kayo soothed, fingers dancing across his scalp, rubbing soothing patterns into the skin.

 

Virgil’s words turned to sobs, his entire frame shaking as he finally let all of the tears he’d been holding in fall, arms looped around his head as he cried, forehead resting on his forearm.

 

Kayo remained still, running her hand through his hair, comforting him as best as she could as he let everything out, her own silent tears falling.

 

Time seemed to stand still as Virgil cried out his grief, finally letting himself feel it all.

 

All of his anger and hurt and pain poured down his cheeks in hot torrents, soaking this pyjamas as his body shook and shivered. It must have been at least half an hour until he slowly calmed, sobs turning to hiccoughs turning to steady breathing once more, his muscles lax and tired.

 

“I’m sorry,” he sniffed, legs slipping down on to the floor as his arms fell by his sides uselessly, tear streaked face still staring out a the ocean.

 

“Don’t be,” Kayo breathed, “don’t ever be sorry about feeling. It’s the healthiest thing you can do, honestly.”

 

Virgil chuckled softly, grunting as he turned around to face her, eyes still shining with tears as he looked up at his lover.

 

“Kay, I… I’m so sorry I assumed. I… I know you want to help and… I should have let you. I just… I don’t want to  _ burden you _ with this, and…”

 

He was cut off as Kayo leant forward, kissing him gently. Virgil whimpered into the kiss, his heart hammering in his chest.

 

“Thank you,” he breathed as she pulled away, a soft smile on her lips.

 

“Anytime, babe.”

 

Virgil sighed, the sound more content than sad now as he leant forward, capturing Kayo’s lips again.

 

“You want to hear the lullaby?” Virgil asked softly. “I… I haven’t played it for anyone since… but… I want to play it for you.”

 

“Will you sing?” Kayo asked with a soft smile, Virgil grinning in return.

 

“Only because I know you love it.”

 

Kayo beamed at him as he pecked her lips again, moving back to the piano.

 

He took a moment to catch his breath, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly before his hands moved back to the keys, starting the soft melody again, slow and serene.

 

Kayo closed her eyes, allowing the sound of the song to wash over her, almost lost to sleep when Virgil’s voice mingled with the notes in the air, strong and unwavering, so sure of the words, as if he was born to sing them.

 

“ _ I see the moon, the moon sees me _

_ shining through the leaves of the old oak tree _

_ Oh, let the light that shines on me _

_ shine on the one I love. _

 

_ Over the mountain, over the sea, _

_ back where my heart is longing to be _

_ Oh, let the light that shines on me _

_ shine on the one I love. _ ”

 

Kayo inhaled sharply, looking over her lover as he played, eyes closed and tears still trickling down his cheeks. 

 

Sudden movement past him caught her eye as two pairs of shining eyes, one bright blue and one caramel loomed from the darkness, Alan and Gordon peering around the corner of the connecting wall.

 

They seemed frozen, uncertain as another figure emerged from behind them, tall and firey haired, teal eyes shining with tears as he ushered them forward.

 

Kayo smiled, beckoning them over to her as Virgil continued to play, eyes slipping open to look at them, a smile on his face as he nodded to them, Alan and Gordon immediately running to Kayo like children, tumbling at her feet and curling against each other.

 

John followed, moving behind Kayo’s chair, wrapping his arms around her shoulder and leaning his head against his old friend’s.

 

Kayo sighed as she leant back, squeezing the arm he draped over her shoulder as Virgil took another deep breath, continuing his song.

 

“ _ I hear the lark, the lark hears me _

_ singing from the leaves of the old oak tree _

_ Oh, let the lark that sings to me _

_ sing to the one I love… _ ”

 

In the shadows of the stairwell, a flash of movement caught Kayo’s eye, cobalt eyes staring out from the darkness, swirling with emotion.

 

But Scott did not move forwards, as the others did, instead opting to hang in the shadows, leaning against the wall and listening, eyes darting over his brothers curled around Kayo as Virgil finished his song, his voice beginning to crack as he too looked over his siblings.

 

“ _ Over the mountains, over the sea _

_ back where my heart is longing to be _

_ Oh, let the lark that sings to me _

_ sing to the one I love. _ ”

 

The last note of the song hung in the air, drifting away to the sounds of the waves lapping at the beach below the house as Alan stood, shuffling to Virgil and wrapping his arms around him. The older man returned the gesture, pulling his youngest sibling close, pressing a soft kiss into his hair as Gordon moved to them, joining the hug.

 

John chuckled softly at the sight, squeezing Kayo in his grip as she watched Scott slip away in the shadows, heading back up to bed, to deal with his grief in the way he saw fit.

 

Alan’s soft laughter bought Kayo’s attention back to Virgil, watching as he tickled the youngest, sending him into fits of giggles.

 

“I haven’t heard that song in  _ so _ long!” he remarked, hugging Virgil again once the tickling had stopped. “Thank you for playing it.”

 

“It was like she was back here, just for a moment,” Gordon added, swallowing hard as Virgil pulled him close.

 

“She’d be so proud of you, Virg,” John added, moving from behind Kayo and coming up to pat his brother on the shoulder, caught off guard when he was pulled into the joined embrace.

 

From her chair, Kayo gave a sigh of contentment as she watched Virgil embracing his brothers, finally beginning to let go of his grief.

 

It wasn’t over, but he’d made a damn good start, and as Gordon started another tickle fight with Alan, all four of them collapsing into laughter, she knew he’d made a good start.

 

Fin.

 

**Author's Note:**

> For Lexi <3


End file.
